Sunday, May 31, 2009

A Princess!

Well. OMG. I don't even know where to start, but here goes... Two days ago my friend Hailea brought me to her castle in the nearby realm of Anoron, and invited me to stay. She made me a Princess of Anoron, and gave me a wonderful suite in the castle, I was completely amazed! There's a huge fireplace, with a settee and pillows in front of it for cuddling, and a wonderful lounger in an alcove. I brought my library and reading nook with me, that I'd just bought two days earlier, and it fit perfectly along the wall opposite the bed, besides being so perfect for a castle! Besides my reading nook, at the foot of the bed is a cushioned bench for reading. Several people live in the castle, in their own suites, and there is a huge central living room for everyone, and a wonderful bath, and terraces for dancing on the rooftop. And there is a lagoon for swimming and white sand beaches to enjoy. I can do a lot of my palace work, writing scrolls and so forth, as well as my studies for KCEE, here in my reading nook, or downstairs relaxing in one of the huge sofas.

Believe me, I feel like a princess when I am here! I have found a wonderful princess dress to wear when I am at home, and I lay about on my lovely princess lounger in my luxurious princess suite, feeling just like... well... a Princess!

And it isn't only that I have a home now, but a place where I feel I can belong, and Hailea my dearest sister! I am so happy!

~Lady Elysa

Thursday, May 21, 2009

my new... slaver???!

OMG. this was soooo funny. This happened back on Monday, it's taken me until now to write about it. So I was down near the bedu camp with my Phox, talking with River and Sunbeam and Qiana, when Phox runs off somewhere. He calls me to come to him, and I find that he has captured a slaver who attacked him. We'd been having a lot of problems with slavers, and I was half inclined to tell Phox to just kill him (I know, not my usual nature, but I was pretty stressed by that time and sick of the whole slaver bunch going around killing everybody), but Phox pointed out that the slaver was pretty new, and so yeah, that did seem to be a mean thing to kill him, so we stood and debated about what to do with him. The slaver stood there and didnt' say much, until Phox and I had pretty much decided to take him to the slaver camp and see if his brothers would pay us for him. Then he said, no he didn't want that. I'm like... ummmm.... what?

So Phox and I debate some more, and decide to take him to the knights and turn him over to them. We get almost to the knights camp, when the slaver stops and says he doesn't want to go there either, or be turned over to them... he's afraid they will hurt him. Phox and I go on in, while I continue to try to coax the slaver to come in with us, that no one will hurt him there. In the meantime, Mache is telling me that we can't turn the slaver over to him either, as the knights don't hold prisoners. By now I am getting a major headache, and sit down on the bench. We finally convince the slaver to come on into the camp with us to try to figure this out. Someone suggested that we turn him over to the jailers, but I didn't want to see him put in that awful dungeon... but what to do with him??? Then suddenly he comes over, and asks if he can't just stay with me.... WHAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTT???

OMG. Then I get a REALLY big headache, and I'm holding my head and moaning. Finally Phox frees the guy, just because we don't know what else to do with him. But then he's at low health, and still our responsiblity, so we take him to Knights Inn to eat, and he won't eat, he just stands there saying he'll be fine, and can't he stay with me anyway?

By this time the ridiculousness of the whole situation hit me, and I started to laugh so hard that I fell onto the floor. I think my poor Phox thought I had finally gone around the bend *grin* Anyway... eventually the slaver went on his way, and my Phox and I went on our way, and all's well that ends well...

...but I sure laughed myself to sleep that night!

~Lady Elysa

my Phox, model of perfection

My Phox has been pardoned! On Tuesday I took Phox before Sultana, and gave her my petition to ask his pardon. She was quite gracious, and spoke to him, asking his account of what happened. And in the end, she granted him a pardon. Below is my record of her words to him:

Zanlu Heron: mmmh... do you swear to be always good from now?
Phox Sillanpaa: I swear to be nothing but a model of perfection.
Zanlu Heron laughs
Zanlu Heron: i like a model of perfection
Zanlu Heron: i forgive you Phox, model of perfection
Zanlu Heron smiles warmly
Phox Sillanpaa: Thank you, your highness
Zanlu Heron: Phox..Elysa loves you very much
Zanlu Heron: please,be loyal and obeying
Phox Sillanpaa: I shall be
Elysa Swansong: he is, your Highness
Zanlu Heron: i hope for him and for you too

I am so relieved! I worried so much about the jailers arresting Phox and taking him to that awful dungeon. He has turned innkeeper now, of the Knights Inn, and seems to be enjoying himself very much there.

~Lady Elysa

Monday, May 18, 2009

My Phox and how he came to me

I have taken the little Djinn, Phox, under my protection. He is bound to me now (a fate worse than death, some might say *grins*) in reparation for his behavior some days ago. This binding is of his own free will and he does my bidding. I do have to say, I'm getting to kind of like having a companion, to have someone at my side, whether trotting along willingly as I go from place to place, or sitting patiently at my feet. He is funny too, and fun to be with, and to talk with. I'll miss him when it is time for him to move on. Hmmm, maybe I should consider getting a slave of my own? *wink*

(just kidding, of course)

(I think)

(hmmm)

LOL. Anyway, currently Phox is in a bit of hot water, as you will read, and I am planning on asking Sultana for a pardon for him. Below is the account of what happened, as I have written it in my petition to Sultana:

Phox is a cursed djinn, who must obey every command of his master (like the genie in Aladdin). On Thursday, Mar 14th, in the auction area, I overheard Leoxis Werefox and Jaril Rexen talking. Jaril had given Leo orders to kill, and he wanted to know who. Jaril grinned and said "ALL." A short time later, there was an auction and Leo bid and won the djinn Phox, and commanded Phox to join him on a joyful killing spree of everyone they saw (except slavers). As a bound djinn, Phox of course complied. Between them, Leo and Phox killed 12 people (6 each), including myself, Tim Spieser and the only knight in Ireem at that time, Maia. Citizens, magi, undead, djinn and bedu were killed.

The djinn leader Indigo arrived, and at my urgent request she came quickly and resolved things for Phox by arranging his release from Leo. Phox was genuinely repentant for the things he had been forced to do by Leo, and he came to me to offer to bind himself to me of his own will, in reparation. I was very angry and refused this, but Indigo convinced me of the truth of his story (as I have written above), and that his repentance was sincere. Therefore, I accepted this binding and have taken Phox under my care.

I ordered Phox to find each of those he killed that night, and to offer a sincere apology and explanation that he was bound to me now. If any did not accept his apology, or wanted further punishment, they were to contact me and we would discuss what they wished. However, so far all have accepted his apology and are satisfied with the current arrangement.

Yesterday, Arian came to arrest Phox for being a mass murderer. While I have some understanding of and sympathy for his viewpoint, Phox was not operating under his own will at the time, AND, his victims have forgiven him. As Arian has not arrested Leo, who not only instigated and participated in the blood bath but also gave the "kill" order to Phox, nor has Arian arrested Jaril, who ordered these killings, I feel this is not right. While undoubtedly Phox did kill 6 people, he did so under compulsion and has sincerely repented and is doing atonement under my care. I feel also that there is a strong case to be made that Leo, and not Phox, should be changed with the murders that Phox committed while bound to Leo. This was clearly premeditated by Leo; he purchased Phox with the intent to use him to kill for this killing spree. Leo should be brought to justice for these murders as well as the murders he committed by his own hand. And Jaril should be brought to justice for all the murders as well, since she gave the orders to Leo to kill ALL.

~Lady Elysa

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Feeling desperate

Lately, I have found myself thinking of travel to distant lands, listening to wanderers, and watching the caravans come through longingly, half thinking to leave here. Then I think, how can I leave, when my heart and soul are here in Ireem? Yet my heart is so battered, my spirit so wounded, I do not know how they can recover. Every morning I wake thinking, "Today will be better..." and then such things happen! So many things have gone wrong, I sometimes wonder if it will ever be fixed. For me now there is so much pain, so much hurt... and so lonely...!!! sometimes I think I cannot bear it.

I found such a wonderful sense of purpose when I first came to Ireem and became the royal scribe... there was never anything like that before in my life, it was so wonderful! I never meant to aspire to anything like that, I just wished the peace of citizenship rather than the stress of life as a prey... and anyone who knows me knows I could never be a predator, of course, I just do not have that in me. So I applied for citizenship, and the next thing, I had an appointment with the royal secretary, and then she decided I should be the scribe! I was so pleased and excited, and even more so when it was confirmed after meeting with Sultana. Suddenly, I was no longer alone, I was part of a team that worked together with the Sultana for the good of all Ireem. We had meetings, we discussed policies and made decisions as a team, it was so exciting! And then, in these last few weeks, everyone has faded away. Perhaps they have left to new jobs, new countries, more exciting adventures. For whatever reason, they are gone. Aside from Sultana, I am the only one left now in the palace. And while Sultana rules, she needs counselors and advisors, people around her to assist her in running the country. But there is only me, and I am not the person to advise her! So many things are happening, and the palace should be involved, but how can I bring these problems to Sultana, with no one at her side to advise her? People come to me with problems and expect me to help, but I can only advise, I have no authority to change anything, to do anything. Nor do I want such authority. I am a scribe... not a diplomat, not a politician. While I accept that to run a country such as Ireem, it is needed that there must be someone able and willing to be ruthless, to manipulate and scheme, to do what is needed to keep the balance, the peace... I am not that person! I could never be such a person. I am scribe, and never have I aspired for more. Indeed, it suits me well. But now there is only me, and I have no one to turn to, no one to ask direction or what I should do, when so much responsibility now falls on my shoulders, until I just want to cry out, "I am not the right person for this!!!"

Indeed, I am far too trusting, too gullible, for such responsibility. All Ireem must know this by now. Need leverage against the palace? Oh, go see Lady Elysa. Convince her you are sincere and give her your word of honor, and she’ll trust you completely. Safe passage? Oh sure, just promise it to her, you can always capture her once she’s there. I am so angry, so sick, of being fooled, of being tricked, of believing people when they give me their word! And even worse, I feel like I am STUPID, and I hate to be made to feel stupid, and foolish. I really hate it, more than I can possibly begin to say here. And yet, still I trust, when someone gives me their word. I finally swore I would stop this, that I would cease being naive and gullible and believing in people’s honor. And then last week, one friend gave me his word for safe passage, and because he was a friend, I ...foolishly... trusted, and went into the enemy camp as emissary... and he attempted to take me prisoner. Oh! So angry! I fought my way out of the camp, and swore never to return, never to believe anyone, ever again.

And then there is the healing. I know so little... I am a mere apprentice, and have as yet had no training. My apprenticeship to KCEE had only been approved by Sultana a day or two before she was kidnapped by Damien, and all went on hold during those trying times, of course. But since then, there has been no time for us to begin my studies, and yet people call for me, since they know I am apprentice. But I am apprentice only! Not a healer yet! My skills are limited, and very basic, and pretty much limited to the contents of the first aid kit that Prince Pawlaew gave me upon my apprenticeship. I am frightened when I must go alone to heal someone with terrible wounds, nor can I heal such things as undead poisons. I am alone when I am called, and so unsure of myself... and oh! I care so much when people are injured or hurt! I worry about them, and fret over their health even after they are well. Many, too, come to me with their troubles and problems, and I am so pleased, so honored with their trust! I treasure each and every one who come to me like this. And yet... there is that in me that cries out... who will come to heal ME?

Because, very slowly, day by day, I am dying a little inside.

~Lady Elysa

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

a terrible thing

Something awful is happening today in Ireem, so terrible I cannot even write the words. I can only weep for a gentle, sensitive nature so wounded, so hurt... and now today... so much more so. I ache for the pain I cannot save him from, both now, and in the difficult days ahead.

In deep sorrow,
~Lady Elysa~